Growing Awareness Pty Ltd  © All Rights Reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy

Voice Dialogue - Inner Self Awareness

|Home | Voice Dialogue Explained | Getting Started| 1001 Inner Selves - a guide | Balancing Opposite (polarised) Energies |Doing and Being Pairs |Personal and Impersonal Pairs |Disowned Selves |Voice Dialogue Fables | Negative Bonding Pairs | Voice dialogue via Skype or phone | Warning When NOT to use Voice Dialogue | Links | Facilitators | Groups | RSDP or Repeated Patterns  that are Self-defeating |Four Levels of Self awareness | Contact | Site map |Feedback and Blog |Free Inner self Profile sheet | Processing and Validating Your Past | Power and control issues |Avoiding manipulation | Your Emotional Age gauge |

Back in the late 1980’s some of the pioneers in the field of Inner Child work recognised the effect of repeated childhood trauma especially when a child experienced it again and again during the vital life skill developmental stage between age 0 to 10

One of these pioneers was Pia Melody who with partner Ex US Air Force Major Pat Melody founded one of the most successful treatment centres in the USA ..This centre is  “The Meadows” in Wickenberg Arizona. In 1993 and again in 1994 and 1996 I was given the chance to spend time at The Meadows. In 1993 I was a client/trainee and in 1994 and again in 1996 I was able to work there as an intern.

Much of my work is based on what I learned there about repeated childhood trauma and Inner child work

RSDP  Repeated self defeating patterns (click here to go to the RSDP pages)

Processing Your Past based on Pia Melody’s work

Healing and recovery from past trauma and abuse can only work if it involves the essential step of  ‘processing’.

Processing involves working through past history in a special way. It’s not just about remembering and it certainly isn’t about getting worked up or angry about what people have done to you in the past. It is also not about simply forgiving those people without processing first.

So how do  you process your past?:

1. Make sure you are working from an aware grown-up place. Processing is grown-ups work and it can only work when you are in your grown-up aware energy.

2. Make sure you have secured your inner child in a very safe place where they will not be involved at all in the processing.

3. Start by making a brief written record of your childhood trauma history. If you would like a free copy of the Trauma History sheet I use please e-mail me. It is based on the history sheet designed by Pia Mellody.

4. Processing involves working through the memories, coming to understand what might have been going on for your parents, teachers, religious figures, group leaders, counsellors, doctors, nurses, the people who abused you or subjected you to trauma that you should not have experienced.

This is not about forgiving them. It is about dealing with the reality about who these people really were and how badly they too might have been abused in their childhood and how their own abuse history might have caused them to abuse you.

5. Why do this? Because deep down inside every traumatised or abused child is an unfortunate self-blame belief that “somehow it was my fault” or “If I had been a better child it would not have happened to me.”  At the core of processing is the removal of this self-blame. To archive that you need to be able not to blame someone else but to recognise that whatever happened was not caused by YOUR inner child.

You will know when you have processed each experience when you can say to yourself

6. Now it is time to talk to your inner child and to tell them the same thing.


In 2000 The Meadows gave me permission to reproduce an Australian version of one of their basic tools a “Trauma history sheet” in my book Growing Awareness”.

Working with these sheets won’t “fix” repeated childhood trauma disorder but it does help people to:  

1. Identify the base cause behind many different behaviour patterns particularly RSDP Repeated self defeating patterns (click link at the bottom of this page to go to the RSDP pages)

2. Recognise that their problems coping with life have more to do with not being able to learn the usual basic life skills between ages 0 and 10 than they do with being a “bad” or “stupid” person or an “addict” or “crazy” or any of the other labels people use to blame and shame the victims of repeated childhood abuse because they lack those essential life skills.

3. Discover that as a grown-up, just as soon as we recognise that we are lacking in a life skill we  have the ability to start learning that missing life skill, just as we can learn any other kind of skill.  We only need to find the right teacher and the learning centre that trains people in that skill.

4. Recognise that we may have been learning the wrong skills from the wrong teachers at the wrong learning centres and keep away from them.

5. Understanding that the essential step “Processing your past” (as explained above) is not about asking your inner child to drag up old trauma memories. It is the way the grown-up part of us takes over and processes them on behalf of our Inner child


Would you like a free copy of the  Growing Awareness version of The Meadows  Trauma history sheets? Please e-mail me John Nutting at heading your e-mail FREE TRAUMA HISTORY SHEETS

Like to start training, learning some of those  missing life skills?

That’s what the whole Growing Self Awareness program is there for.  Much of the basic information is waiting for you on our websites.

Like some “hands on” skill training? Please contact me via I work on Skype and over the phone with people all over the World.  

More information on phone or Skype sessions please  click here


My newest  site, just launched includes a Forum, a Voice dialogue Blog and a Newsletter (still being developed)

It's all about how self awareness leads to self empowerment, self healing and the ability to change your life the way you want to change, how and when you want to and get the results you always wanted.

Balance and unblock your inner clamps

Core beliefs are one of the main causes of clamps and blockages that stop us growing or doing what we want to in life. This site will help you to diagnose your own unique negative core belief and then balance it.

Loving and Protecting Inner Children everywhere

Dedicated to inner children everywhere. A magical site with some practical advice on how to love, protect and care for your own Inner child using voice dialogue and other skills including visualisation and story telling..

A Self Awareness site to help Men and Women overcome the toxic influence of their Inner Patriarch and Inner Matriarch

Self awareness and self empowerment  work differently for women and men. At the heart of these differences are two extremely dangerous inner selves - the Inner Matriarch and the Inner Patriarch. They fight each other constantly and they encourage fights between men and women. The only thing they have in common is that they are both dedicated to keeping all men and all women out of loving, successful grown-up relationships at home, at work or anywhere else. We all have an Inner Patriarch and an Inner Matriarch inside us but there is much we  do to reduce their toxic influence.

Healing a Broken or damaged relationship

About broken relationships and what it takes to heal them.

Voice Dialogue training in Australia

Details of local Voice Dialogue training in Australia and in particular Queensland

Experiments in an alternative style of Voice Dialogue

An experimental and alternate way of explaining voice dialogue using easy to visualise descriptions, fables and analogies based around life in the the "inner village" and the journey as we climb further up "Awareness Hill "  WARNING this website does not use classic voice dialogue wording.

Amazing UK Life Coach Sarah Strudwick's site