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Polarised energy, polarised selves and flipping
These pages and opposite selves are Based on Dr. Hal Stone and Dr. Sidra Stone’s basic psychic laws, See page 15 in ‘Embracing Each-
For each energy state or self within you there exists an opposite energy or an opposite self. Often one is outside of you, other times both are inside you. You cannot get rid of either one of them and if you try to disown one it will find other ways to come back to you in order to maintain energetic balance.
How do polarised selves develop?
One of the results of childhood abuse is that we tend to do very wide swings between one side and the other because that's the only way that young children know to react to fear, pain, guilt or shame. They don't have the ability to reason logically to deal with abuse and trauma so they operate like a seesaw that is not properly balanced. The result is called a flip.
If you find yourself suddenly changing your behaviour or the way you protect yourself suddenly going all the way from one side to the other without stopping to consider the results, that means that two polarised selves are fighting about the best way to deal with a problem. This is often called a flip.
Flipping is an indication of a traumatic or abused childhood.
Whenever a grown-
Abused in childhood, confused in adulthood
The worse the trauma and the abuse in childhood the greater the suddenness of the flips in adult hood and the further apart the two opposites positions will be. For example you might notice a pattern where someone flips regularly a year at a time from celibacy to extremely promiscuous sexual relationships and back again.
A pattern of regular flipping is telling you that your inner child is still trying to resolve some of the serious issues in your life, but trying to do this in a child’s way. Unfortunately, it’s also a way that will never fix things, and often it will end up making things worse in your grown-
The answer is for your grown-
Hal and Sidra Stone’s See-
Hal and Sidra Stone talk about a teeter totter which we would call a seesaw. They describe as an analogy how one self, the dominant or primary self is so heavy that the seesaw gets stuck in one position with the overweight self holding its end down on the ground. Meanwhile the polarised opposite self lacks the weight to get any movement at all. It is stuck up in the air on the other end of the seesaw or if you’re reading this in America, the teeter-
A flip occurs when the weaker one suddenly goes on a high energy program while the previously strong one unexpectedly finds themselves on a weight reduction program. This by the way it is usually the result of the overweight primary self failing to do its job properly and provide its usual level of protection.
Suddenly the energies are reversed. Four example a previously responsible hard working individual goes on an extended holiday without a mobile phone or any form of contact. The previous doormat becomes a rebel. This by the way is the theme of the archetypal movie “Shirley Valentine”. It’s a great favourite for doormats, because they watch fellow doormat Shirley suddenly doing a flip. She’s had enough of being a doormat she buys a one-
There is a better way to balance polarised opposites
As your self-
I like to think of the grown-
When you disown an inner self this law can have an extremely powerful effect:
1. Whatever part of your personality you disown, will turn up again and again in your life or in other people around you. The more you feel strong negative or positive energy towards them, the more likely their personality reflects some of your disowned parts.
2. Your disowned parts can also turn up in the same way in animals, mechanical and electronic objects or other things around you.
3. The more you hate, judge, reject, or try to disempower something outside you, the stronger the chance it reflects a disowned part of your personality.
4. If you overvalue, obsess over or feel you cannot resist someone or something, it is equally likely this reflects a disowned part of your personality.
5. Each time this happens it is a chance to learn another lesson about your selves and who you really are. However, you will only see this when you are ready to learn that lesson and can step back far enough to see what the lesson is really about.
6. Until the day you learn that lesson you will continue to attract into your life people, animals, mechanical and electronic objects or other things that you will continue to hate, judge, reject, over-
7. Judging, rejecting, overvaluing or being unable to resist people, objects and things that turn up constantly around you, means you are attributing greater value and importance to those items than to yourself. As long as you treat them as if they have some kind of power over you, you treat yourself as less powerful than they are.
8. All this takes up a great deal of time and energy you could be using to become more aware, more conscious and more adult.
• If you don’t like yourself (and your inner selves) then you’ll find it hard to like other people. The more you like yourself the more others will like you.
• The degree to which you are uncomfortable with your own inner selves reflects the degree that you will be triggered by other people’s selves.
• People who cannot be open and honest with themselves expect dishonesty and deception in others.
• If you feel free to be who you really are then you will be comfortable with others who feel free to be themselves, even those who are very different from you.
• There are always things within us that we really need to change and this is usually an area where we have problems. The aware adult state is the only position from which two people can safely share this kind of information with each other.
• The better you are at receiving positive or constructive criticism from others and owning the parts of it that are true, the better you will be at sharing the same kind of message with others.
• The harder you find it to look at and deal with these issues in you, the harder it will be to talk as an aware adult to others even about things they really might need to look at in themselves.
• One way to deal with another person whose primary self is strongly out of balance is to let them know that as your grown up aware adult side develops, you too are able to connect to a similar unbalanced self or energy, within you, even though it is normally disowned or hidden. But now you can deal with it in a moderate way.
Copyright © John Nutting 1996-
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