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Notice also that this way of looking at the world also contains very strong judgemental elements. The essential energy behind each polarised thought is that one idea, one person or one side is good or powerful and the other is wrong or powerless. So what is going on that locks us in to this limited way of looking at life and robs us of our freedom of choice?

This way of seeing the world (polarised thinking) is not only common, it is often emphasised during childhood and teenage years, by our parents, (you are a good child or a bad child; if you don’t tell the truth you are lying) our teachers (If you know the ‘right’ answer or do your exercise the ‘correct’ way you pass; if you can’t do it correctly you fail) and our spiritual leaders (until you are ‘saved’ you are not a true believer; this is only one ‘true’ faith, no other faith can get you into Heaven).

Polarised thinking is the very essence of our legal system (either you are innocent or guilty, if you can prove it you win the case, if you don’t have the evidence you lose).

Our government and our political parties operate very much within the limits of polarised thinking, which effectively rules out most opportunities for compromise or consensus.

Most wars are between two sides, each stuck in the same kind of restricted thinking but polarised in opposing positions with no room to move. (We are right, they are wrong and we must kill them to prove it).

Sports such as football encourage the same approach to life.


Inner Selves Think and Work in Polarity
As I have already explained, inner selves characteristically see the world in terms of polar opposites. They think and work in polarity for example ‘I have only two choices, to be in control (parent energy) or give up and be powerless (child energy)’. Hal and Sidra Stone call this the ‘duality of the selves’.


Polarised thinking restricts your freedom
Yet this kind of thinking, which rules so much of our life is not supported by reality. In between any two extreme positions there exists a whole range of other possibilities. It’s just that polarity stops you seeing them, in fact polarised thinking typically restricts your freedom of choice by 80 or 90 and up to 100 percent.

NOTE: The more extreme the polarity or the greater the distance between the two opposite positions the more likely that these are the result of early childhood trauma.

 See The Little Trauma Witch (link to come)





Read more (links to come here)

Polarised selves and flipping

Identifying Polar Opposite selves

The Trap of Polarised Thinking or Duality




Copyright © John Nutting 1996- 2009

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LAST UPDATE Tuesday, 11 December 2008

How Your selves get Trapped into Polarised Thinking


How many times a day do you find yourself thinking, feeling or talking about something  as if there must be only one or two possible choices or ways to go?

For example - Either I’m a winner or I’m a loser; I can prove I was right, so that proves you are wrong; to take care of your needs I have to give up on mine; if you can’t be open and spontaneous (like me) then you are inhibited; I only have two choices, fight or give up; you are controlled by your feelings and he is controlled by his mind.

As you work with your inner selves and your aware adult, you quickly become conscious that polarised acting and thinking are sure signs that your vulnerability has been triggered and that some very powerful inner selves are in charge and ‘driving your bus’ for you.