Growing Awareness Pty Ltd  © All Rights Reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy

Voice Dialogue - Inner Self Awareness

|Home | Voice Dialogue Explained | Getting Started| 1001 Inner Selves - a guide | Balancing Opposite (polarised) Energies |Doing and Being Pairs |Personal and Impersonal Pairs |Disowned Selves |Voice Dialogue Fables | Negative Bonding Pairs | Voice dialogue via Skype or phone | Warning When NOT to use Voice Dialogue | Links | Facilitators | Groups | RSDP or Repeated Patterns  that are Self-defeating |Four Levels of Self awareness | Contact | Site map |Feedback and Blog |Free Inner self Profile sheet | Processing and Validating Your Past | Power and control issues |Avoiding manipulation | Your Emotional Age gauge |


During these early sessions you’ll notice that you are beginning to separate one inner protector character from another. When you do this you soon realise that obviously there is another part of you, the part that is aware of the inner selves, is observing them and talking about them yet it is not actually one of them.

Your grown-up part

This is your grown up or aware adult part, I prefer the term grown up rather than ‘adult’. It is also the part that is doing the separating and the part out of which your future self-awareness and self -empowerment will grow.

As you become more aware of your grown-up part you can start creating a safe environment for self-awareness work and gaining an overall understanding of what self-awareness and self-empowerment can do for you.  

From there you can expect to progress quite quickly to Level two.

Level Two - Advanced self-awareness -

This is one of the most important steps you take in  self-awareness. At this stage you discover how to:

1.  Identify some of your own inner protector inner selves as pairs. Each one is the energetic opposite of its other pair

2.   Separate yourself from any pair of opposite inner selves, then sit between them and adjust their energies to bring them into balance.  

From this point on you can start making changes in your life. This can start as soon as you have learned to work with one or more pairs of opposite selves and feel reasonably confident about balancing or adjusting opposing energies. I explain more about this in the Opposite Energies (Balancing) pages .

Level Two includes learning basic techniques for talking or dialoguing with your own Inner Child, increasing your awareness of vulnerability as a natural state, rather than something to be worried about.

You can also start to appreciate why in the past you needed your old negative based protection system because when you were vulnerable that was all you had at that time.

As your understanding about your underlying vulnerability increases so will your ability to protect your own inner child  (Remember to use its name when you talk about it not to call it “my inner child”)

To help protect your inner child (name) you will begin work creating a new positive place located inside you, a place peopled by new and different inner selves who are better at protecting your vulnerable inner child than the ones from you have been using until now.

As you compare the differences between the old negative based vulnerability-protection system and the new more positive ways of dealing with your vulnerability, you will notice that you are becoming more self-empowered.

Watch what your older inner selves do when they are on the stage

One of the things you may notice is how much time and energy some of your inner selves spend trying to get love, liking, trust, appreciation or any other kind of positive reaction from their “audience” (that is other people around you).
Later on you will discover that this characteristic of trying to get a positive reaction from other people or get other people to change is a very significant pointer to some of the deeper issues that restrict self empowerment.

At the core of self-awareness and core belief work is the understanding that the more time and the emotional energy we use up...

* waiting and wanting and hoping other people will pay attention to us,

* wanting and hoping for other people to like us, trust us or love us or appreciate us

* talking about other people with other people

* writing about other people to other people

* waiting, wanting and hoping that other people will change (the way we want them to)


Then the less time we are working on our own issues or doing things that help develop your own self awareness.

The amount of time that you and I spend focusing outwards on other people and on them and their issues is a clear indicator of the degree to which our inner selves are still hard at work inside us and blocking the growth of our self empowement.

The more often you stand on your own Awareness Hill and see this clearly the more often you will know that you are achieving one of the most incredible steps forward in growing your self-awareness and self empowerment.

The more we try to get these things from other people the more we disempower ourselves and the more we are handing our power over them.

Developing your interviewing skills

While you are doing all this at level two you will be developing your hands-on skill as an interviewer or facilitator.  Interviewing someone else is one of the best ways of coming to understand more about what has been happening inside you until now.

Keeping your profile up to date

Meanwhile you will  need to keep track of the names and classifications of your own cast of inner protector inner selves (inner selves) what they are doing for you and how each of them acts when they are “on stage”. The best way to keep this on paper is a profile sheet.

Free Inner self Profile Sheet

I have designed a two page Inner Self profile sheet that allows you to keep a record of the selves you meet and talk with. This helps you keep a record of the  names of the selves as you talk with them. There are different places for different kinds of selves on the sheet according to their different energies or the different ways they do things to protect you.

If you would like a free copy of this sheet please send me an email. Click the link.

Keep in mind that some opposites that look as though they have completely disappeared have actually been exiled,  disowned or sent out into the forest. That means they are still around and they need to be included on your profile sheet

All this when you look at it together provides you with a clearer picture of what it’s like in your inner village at the present time. Meanwhile your self-awareness is growing so you are ready to move on to level three.

Level Three - Basic self-empowerment  -

To increase your self empowerment you need to be aware of what it is that reduces your empowerment.

Bringing your exiled inner selves back

For example you can discover and reconnect with some of your disowned or exiled inner selves. Just because they will sent away doesn’t mean they were  a real problem. Quite often you’ll discover that they are in fact the source of your authentic personality and your real empowerment. It’s just that when you were small they got you into trouble and it was necessary at that time for them to be hidden. Now it’s time to bring them back again.

You can identify and then balance one of more of your Negative Core beliefs.

You will discover some new and deeper skills such as balancing your personal and impersonal energies.

Releasing clamps and blockages

As you continue in level three you will find it possible to look more closely at other inner selves in your village, including the complex inner selves, the ones who have two or more different goals, the  dis-empowering inner selves who still believe they can still best protect you the way they did when you were small, by clamping or blocking you from making the changes you want to make in your life.

Recognizing refugees

You may find yourself having to deal with some disruptive selves that I call the refugee selves. When you get to talk to them you realise they are just not like your other selves or perhaps they are not really your inner selves at all. I believe they are refugees from other people’s villages. They can be the cause of many disruptions in your inner village because their loyalty is to their home village and the inner selves who led over there. In particular this will include your Inner Patriarch in Inner Matriarch. The more you dialogue with these two the more you realise they are simply not there to try and protect you, your inner child or your underlying vulnerability!

If you’d like to read more about them and why they don’t seem like other inner selves there are separate pages about them and their disruptive activities elsewhere on this website Inner Patriarch and  Inner Matriarch.

Re-discovering your authentic (true) self

As your sense of self-empowerment grows  you can reconnect with more and more of those wonderful, powerful and positive parts of your personality that were exiled early in your life. As these inner selves  come back into your life their return will bring you great joy and strength, because they were parts of the authentic person you were really meant to be. You reconnecting with the healthy, self-empowered and positive sides of your personality. You are becoming the person you always meant to be.

Parenting your inner child

You will find you are now able to talk  freely with your own vulnerable inner child and find out more about how she or he is feeling.

Remember, when you talking with other (safe) people about your inner child to use your inner child’s name. It is not appropriate to describe this wonderful little person as a nameless character such as “my inner child”.

Once you have identified and balanced at least one or more of your negative core beliefs, and reconnected to at least one of your exiled inner selves, you can be confident that you are progressing well at this level (3) of awareness.

Your inner child settles down

By now your inner child (name) has started to settle down and to tell you he or she feels safer and more protected and less driven by the old sense that he or she alone (with the help of a few of the old inner selves) were stuck with the task of protecting you and them from life’s dangers. This is one of the strongest indicators confirming that you are moving well into level three.

Visualising Your Growing Awareness - Going up on the Hill behind the Village

Rather than spend more time trying to fix things in the old inner village (operating ego) it’s better to visualise a new village high up the hill. Life will be very different from the inner selves who move  to the top of the hill.

Visualising a new village high on Awareness Hill is a departure from Voice dialogue, but it seems to work well in Australia.

When you create a visual image of a place at the top of Awareness Hill, you have a picture in your mind of a place where you can observe things going on from a position of greater awareness.

There is a point where a person doing this work notices that their attitude to solving their problems is changing and they are making significant changes in their life. You can visualise this as one of the outcomes that follows once they have a clear picture in your mind of a new village built higher up on the hill. You might call this call it "Awareness Village".

Aware ego and awareness

Populating your new inner village with balanced and integrated inner selves may or may not necessarily be similar to state of awareness referred to in Voice Dialogue as the Aware Ego but, once people create a clear visual image of Awareness Village on their own hill it does seem to help them get one step closer to that so very difficult to define, explain or visualise "aware ego".

The nature of the aware ego is such that I doubt that it is possible to come up with a visual metaphor. As far as I know no one has ever visualised an aware ego anyway, nor do they need to.

All we need to know is that a wider range of  growth and understanding is possible when you stand in the new village at the top of the hill and the view is better too.

Creating and inducting new inner selves

Another quite amazing and empowering experience, again using visualisation, is to create or induct  some totally new inner selves to help enhance your new inner team working together in your new Awareness village.

It’s time to start using new processes to create a new and different world a world where you are able to make the changes that you want on my in your life, a world full of choices and options and opportunities.  It’s well-known that one of the best ways to make changes like this is to harness the immense power of visualisation.

Newly inducted inner selves such as a Magic Father or Inner Mother, go straight to the new village. Some of the protector inner selves from the old village usually the side to make the climb as well.  All is really takes his their agreement to work in balanced and integrated partnerships, rather than as polar opposites as they did in the old village.

Level Four - Advanced self-empowerment -

Level 4 is where sometimes, but not all the time, you may get understandings and feelings like these:

“I am aware when I am being aware. I am aware when I am not being aware.”

“I am aware when I am feeling self empowered. I am aware when I am not feeling self empowered.”

“I am aware when I am using my grown up b boundary system. I am aware when I am not using my boundaries.”

“I am aware when I am in a doing energy. I am aware when I am in a being energy.”

“I am aware when I am in impersonal energy. I am aware when I am in my personal energy.”

“I am aware when one polarised self has taken over and is driving my bus.

“I am aware another self is trying to push it out and take over on the other side”

“I am aware when I have been triggered or hot wired with my core issues and core beliefs and how these are getting in the way of my self awareness and self empowerment

“I am aware of my my bottom line issues and when they need to be checked.”

“I am aware of my disowned or exiled selves and what effect they are having on me, my life and my relationships.


“I am aware of my dear inner child and what she or he is feeling and I am able to care and protect the child and insulate her or him from all fear stress and responsibility.”

Level 4 is where you start to make full use of your self awareness and self-empowerment to create really significant and positive changes in your life - changes that make a real difference, and you will be celebrating the sense of exhilaration that comes each time you make one of these changes.

You will be starting to enjoy the positive energy that comes with your growing sense of self empowerment combined with your growing sense of self-awareness.

You will be more aware of the differences between the authentic person that you were meant to be compared with the adapted person that you had to become to “fit in” with other people and you will now feel  more ready to reconnect with your real and original personality.

Still more work ahead

You will also be more aware of the parts of your life where you are still facing blockages and barriers.

As your awareness grows in level four you will be able to see and talk about protector inner selves (inner selves) who could still could be disempowering you or blocking you  from making the changes you want to make or who still leave you still feeling disempowered (and aware that there is still much work ahead of you!)

You will now be more aware of how and why all this is going on inside you.

Often you will find you are able to do this from the aware position without actually having to go into a dialogue session every time.

You will be more aware of your old fears, pain, guilt, shame and vulnerability and can identify inner selves (selves) who still want to take over to help deal in the old way with whatever these negative feelings are doing to your life.

You will be reasonably comfortable sharing your self-awareness with other advanced group members.

You will be comfortable about giving and receiving feedback from other advanced group members

Your bottom line issues

Everyone has bottom line issues, usually six or more. No one ever gets rid of them, even at level 4 that you  will find it hard to become fully aware of them.  Even when you are aware of you will continue to work on them  for the rest of your life.

Bottom line or key life issues for most people include for example:

·          self-esteem issues,

·          boundary issues,

·          balancing or moderation issues,

·          reality issues,

·          power and control issues,

·          positive self-nurturing issues

Go to the bottom line pages for more about the bottom line issues



Copyright © John Nutting 1996- 2009 -   and   ©   GROWING AWARENESS     1994 -  2009  All rights reserved World Wide   

Don't worry about these copyright notices at the foot of each page. It just means I want to hang on to legal ownership of what I write for use in future books.  Until that day, please feel free to copy and even adapt them for your own use and for friends as long as you acknowledge me as the author and owner of the copyright and you don't charge anyone for them. If you want to use them professionally or commercially (charge a fee for them) or for clients, each sheet you hand out must include full acknowledgment of copyright ownership as above and if  you are benefiting as a result, I would appreciate an appropriate sharing.

 Four Levels of Self-awareness and Self-empowerment

Level One - Basic self-awareness -

Basic self-awareness skills develop quite quickly during your first hands-on practice sessions. At first you will be the interviewee or client. However as your confidence grows you discover its almost the same when you are the interviewer and talk to someone else and their inner selves.

Many people find they can reach level one almost immediately.